What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me. [#4]
[This is a guest post from
Narnia the wilds of Canada]
Married love. You’re friends. You’re lovers. Some days you’re both. Some days you’re neither. And, yet, like Bryan Ferry sang, ‘you know we made a vow not to leave one another, never’. So, for my part, here are a few good words that inspire me about marriage:
A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to.
Being married or committed to one another is a promise, not an end-point. Every day is an opportunity for new appreciation, new gratitude, new interest, new delight.
People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. … Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of that.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.
Love, as distinct from ‘being in love’ is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit …‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep this promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.
Respect the privacy of each other’s minds.
My grandpa on ‘how to stay married’, on the 40th anniversary of his marriage to my nanna
I know the language of your laugh
Tripping over circumstance
I know the story of your walk
I taste the sugar and the salt
I taste and savor your little ways
The colors that you choose
To paint your day
Categorised as: wisdom+philosophy